THE RIGHT TIME TO START DATING AGAIN

HINGHAM, MA DECEMBER 4, 2003--Your lifelong friend has begun dating again, just three months after her husband passed away. They had been married for 32 years. You're appalled that she's dating again, let alone dating before she's mourned an appropriate amount of time, which you think should be a year or more.

Who's right?

"Just as everyone expresses grief in different ways, the bereavement period after a loved one's passing is significantly different for each individual," advises relationship expert Paul A. Falzone, CEO of The Right One and Together Dating.

"People who have lost their partner in a long-term battle with a serious illness may have been going through the mourning process during that loved one's illness. They may be comfortable with dating again fairly soon," said Falzone. "On the other hand, there are individuals who wait years to begin dating, not because they believe they are supposed to, but because that's how long it takes them to feel comfortable with dating again."

There are a vast number of clinical articles and books written about grief and bereavement, addressing the bereavement period. Harvard College published an article entitled Grief Takes No Holiday in Harvard Women's Health Watch last year that noted, "Healthy grieving can be a slow, difficult process that lasts for months or years. And although a person may gradually be able to refocus her life, she'll probably never ‘get over it' or stop thinking about the person who died."1

"The common theme throughout many of these articles is that bereavement does last for a period of time, and for most people at some point, ends. But there isn't a required time period," said Falzone.

When you do decide to date again, Falzone advises:

TAKE IT SLOW

Getting back into dating, especially after a being in a long-term relationship, can be one of the most challenging parts of life, even more challenging than a career change. Because of the closeness and familiarity that had been established in that previous long-term relationship, it's sometimes difficult to remember to begin a new relationship at the beginning, simply getting to know each other and moving it along slowly.

WHEN OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS

Meeting that special someone is just that – special. If you have just met or already know someone whom you are interested in, take a chance and reintroduce yourself or invite him/her on a "casual" date, such as for coffee. Seldom in life do we get a second chance to do things, so if opportunity knocks, you should seriously consider answering.

ENJOY LEARNING ABOUT SOMEONE NEW

Settle into easy conversation, ask important questions that show you want to learn more of the other person. Talk freely about yourselves. Talk about family, work, hobbies and such, and you will discover mutual interests and enhance your level of understanding and appreciation. You will also learn that your new friend has interests and perspectives new to you that can peak your interest all the more.

FINDING LOVE FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA

The merger of The Right One with national franchises of Together created the world's largest introduction service. The alliance is a marriage of convenience for customers -- offering a more consistent product, a greater number of potentially compatible mates and more flexibility in transferring memberships to another geographic region.

Today, with an ambitious plan to open between 12-24 new offices a year, Together and The Right One have more than 125,000 members – many of whom have their memberships on hold while they take the time to explore a successful relationship. With more than 500 employees, Together and The Right One gross more than $45-million a year in revenue.

ROMANTIC LOCATIONS

The Right One has offices and affiliates located throughout the United States, including: California (San Diego); Colorado (Colorado Springs, Denver); Florida (Boca, Tampa); Georgia (Atlanta); Hawaii (Honolulu); Illinois (Chicago, Springfield, Peoria, Rockford; Downers Grove and Bloomington); Iowa (Des Moines, Cedar Rapids and Bettendorf); Nebraska (Omaha and Lincoln); New Hampshire (Bedford); New Jersey (Cherry Hill, Hackensack); Massachusetts (Hingham, Chestnut Hill, Shrewsbury and Woburn); Pennsylvania (Philadelphia, Pittsburgh and Monroeville); Rhode Island (Warwick); Wisconsin (Madison, Appleton and Milwaukee); Texas (Dallas, Austin).

North American locations and affiliates of Together are: California (Encino, Irvine and Los Angeles); Florida (Palm Beach); Indiana (Ft. Wayne, Indianapolis, South Bend); Kansas (Wichita and Kansas City); Louisiana (New Orleans); Maryland (Columbia, Frederick); Minnesota (Minneapolis); Nevada (Reno); New Hampshire (Hooksett, Nashua, Portsmouth and Salem); New Jersey (Bridgewater, Clark, Colts Neck and Lawrenceville); Ohio (Cincinnati); Pennsylvania (Mechanicsburg and Doylestown); South Carolina (Greenville); South Dakota (Sioux Falls); Texas (Dallas, San Antonio, Beaumont and Houston) and Virginia (Falls Church).

For more information about The Right One and Together Dating, please visit their websites at www.therightone.com and www.togetherdating.com or call(800) 348-DATE (3283).




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